Humbled
This weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to work at All Access Weekend in Raleigh, North Carolina. I was not prepared for what the Lord was about to do in my life... As we made it to Raleigh after a nine hour car ride me, Allie Cate, and Sarah Grace were finally about to meet the strangers we were to lead all weekend. I found out that I was going to be serving 8th grade girls and was concerned about how I could make them open up in such a short time. As soon as I met my group we were rushed off toour host home where we were to stay all weekend. (keep in mind I had no idea who this lady was either) Ms. Lisa greeted us with open arms and I was not prpared for how she was going to impact my life either. The girls quickly opened up by the grace of God and we were able to share things I never thought possible. The struggles with weight, drugs, and boys that these girls have are unimaginable and I was immediatly humbled at how much I needed the Lord. I instantly loved these girls but was not sure how to speak to these girls. After the first small group I realized that it was not about me speaking to these girls but rather the Lord speaking through me. I had to give up complete control and allow the Lord to speak. It was not until I gave that up that big things started happening. Our mission project was easy... we were to bake cakes with the helping hand ministeries and talk with the girls and boys. My heart was so full of joy as I interacted with these sweet babies and realized that the Lord truly gave me a gift of compassion for the less fortunate. I met a little boy named trayvon and a little girl named Javiyana that I immediatly fell in love with. All they wanted in life was to feel loved and it broke my heart to know that there families were not providing this. Sweet spirits searching for love in this broken world. I pray that they know the Lord and learn to lean on him for love and support.
God gave me a spirit of grace and love that enables me to love on people from all different backgrounds. I was able to speak with a young girl named Quintessa (nickname tete) at the New Bern House. She was 18 years old and just recently dropped out of high school. She began working at a hair salon to raise money so that her mom's lights wouldn't be turned off. She expressed to me how much she cared for her mom and two sisters and couldn't stand to see them on the street. So she dropped all her dreams of becoming a nurse to raise money for her family. As I was talking to her I noticed a small tatoo on her back that said "EVAN". I asked her what that was for and she told me it was in memory of her old boyfriend. I told her how sorry I was to hear that and that is when she began to open up. She told me that a year ago she got pregnant with Evan's son and in May Evan was in a fatal car wreck. Just three months later she gave birth to her son and he died after 5 minutes. My jaw dropped..... I was shocked to hear everything she had gone through in the past year. I began to tear up as I looked in her eyes and saw so much potential... but so many circumstances that have caused her to give up. She looked at me and said "It was hard and I was devastated, but I am okay. I just wanted to make a living and go to nursing school." I was amazed at the ambition inside of this 18 year old girl. She told me she was going to go back to school and finish her senior year so that she could go to nursing school one day. That was it. Our worlds had crossed and I would never be the same because of it. I gave her my number and then had to leave. I told her I would be praying for her and hoped to talk to her soon. That was last Saturday and we have been texting every since. I told her I wanted to see her go to nursing school and I wanted to help in anyway I could. This is my soul sister, my girl, and God distinctly brought her into my life for a reason and I am so glad he did!
To say the least this weekend was amazing. I got to grow with these 8th grade girls and learn about the community in Raleigh, NC. After the retreat ended on Sunday me, Allie Cate, and Sarah Grace were able to go back to stefanie's house and just rest. Her daughter Madison made us all smile and made for a perfect ending to a perfect weekend! Thank you Jesus
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