Rejoicing in tears

I wrote this blog post Monday night.... I hope it brings light to a very dark world!

I guess this post is to somehow convince myself of the Lord's goodness amongst a week of heartbreaks. My soul is very uneasy and my heart feels like it is shattered. Today I am lacking in the faith department. Today I am feeling inadequate. Today my heart is heavy.

I am tired of death. I hate it. I hate that people leave this place. I hate that people are taken too young. I hate that death is painful. I hate that suffering comes with that. I hate death. 

It is extremely unfair that people are taken from this earth so young. It is unfair that my sweet kids lost their dad at 35 years old. It is unfair that they will grow up without him. It is unfair that one of my babies from Kenya lost his life this morning. It is unfair that he endured so much pain at the age of 7.  Life is painful. 

I cannot help but be angry, frustrated, and saddeneed by the news of this week. I cant help but cry out to Jesus in heartbreak.... asking why? I cant help but be completely heartbroken about the loss of people I love. 

But in that confusion... comes understanding. 

In that confusion comes life because we can rest assured that we have and will achieve ultimate victory. "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?' 1 Corinthians 15:55 reminds us that death has nothing on the power of Christ, and in him is where true victory is found.

What a beautiful picture... to know that Lee and Mark have met their creator. That they have seen and tasted rich, beautiful life. That they are hand in hand celebrating the victory that we wait in anticipation to achieve. I am amazed. 

So as I sit confused and heartbroken I am reminded of the victory in Christ. I am thankful that although they have been taken from this earth they are sitting beside the creator of the universe being rewarded for their work on this earth.

I cant help but smile knowing that Lee and Mark met Jesus at the gates of heaven. That today they know in fullness the Glory of our maker. My heart rejoices. 

So to Lee and Mark, I miss and love you. I am proud of the example of Christ that you showed me. Who knew that I would lose two people so dear to me within the same week..... but what victory that is! I rejoice because I know you are in the presence of our savior. I rejoice because He has made all things new. I rejoice because I will see you soon!

Crying in celebration, 

Hannah